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Pain! Huh! What is it good for?
August 2005
We are a culture
bent on pain relief.
At the first twinge of discomfort we look for a quick and easy way
to dull it. Medicating physical pain is not
a bad thing; there's nothing wrong with taking an aspirin to relieve a
headache. Even anti-depressants have their place. But mindlessly numbing spiritual or emotional pain too
quickly can be counterproductive. Pain can have a purpose.
In my search for
a reliable Christian therapist to help me work through
an unexpected divorce and related issues, one I went to only briefly. While obviously biased
against people of faith, as well as afflicted with a Gordian knot
of his own unresolved issues (yes, even therapists have issues!), he did offer one piece of true and
valuable advice: Don't avoid your pain; sit in it and feel it
fully.
I'm not aware of
anywhere in the Bible where we are admonished to run from, avoid,
deny, or otherwise neutralize pain at all costs. Yet so much of what we
chase after in the name of faith, peace, and blessing has to do with
exactly that. Without any thought
whatever we suspect as causing us pain or discomfort is tossed
away, avoided, or walked away from, whether it's a person, a
truth, or an
event. The irony here is that desperate to avoid pain in ourselves
we often inflict unjust pain on others.
Is this Christ-like? Does this jibe
with the wisdom and teachings of Paul? Is it the experience of the
primary characters in the Bible? Most important, is this how
Father God deals with us -- His biggest pains in His you know
what? No! He is patient, loving, forgiving, comforting. He walks
with us through our pain.
To comfort is to cheer and
encourage. It involves the dispelling of grief through the impartation
of strength, not the removal of pain. Others can't relieve my
personal pain, but in standing with me I can draw on their
strength to endure; I can lean on them for support.
As the saying goes, sometimes God
calms the storm and other times He calms us in the storm. Either
way, there is still pain to be dealt with. Comfort acknowledges
the legitimacy of pain and the wisdom and insight it imparts.
So what is God's purpose in pain?
Responded to in a healthy manner, pain can sensitize us to the the
troubles of others, allowing us to become better ministers of
God's grace and comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 explains it like
this:
"Praise be to the God and Father of
our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all
comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can
comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have
received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over
into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If
we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are
comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient
endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you
is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings,
so also you share in our comfort."
Note: The tense is present
not past when referring to troubles, distresses, and
sufferings, which are just different words for pain.
Pain can also point us to
imperfections we need to purge from our lives or areas of weakness
that need to be strengthened. James puts it like this: "Consider it pure
joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because
you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and
complete, not lacking anything."
By sitting in our pain and letting
it fully wash over us, we can more clearly see how our own actions
and reactions have fueled our own hurt or other's. And when it comes as a
consequence of our own sin, after being refreshed by God's grace
and forgiveness, we can better carry out the command in Colossians 3:13-14
to "Bear with each
other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one
another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these
virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect
unity."
The reality is that pain avoided is
actually only pain delayed. It is pain that, while temporarily
numbed, will still cripple us in persistent and subtle ways. As
one person put it, avoiding pain is sort of like trying to hold a
bunch of basketballs underwater.
Pain patiently endured and fully
experienced teaches us how to be merciful without sacrificing
people, relationships, or experiences that God has provided to us
(Hosea 6:6).
It leads us not just to true and total healing, but to the
awareness of our own desperate need for God's grace in our lives
moment by moment. It keeps us humble, fills us with gratitude, and
enables us to be more caring toward others. We can let go of the
basketballs and watch them float away, allowing us to focus our
energies on better things.
Being in pain can open us more fully
to the presence and voice of God: Job 36:15, "But those who
suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their
affliction."
Pain refines and purifies: 1 Peter
7, "[Pain has] come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold,
which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine
and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is
revealed."
Pain yields multiple benefits:
Romans 5:3-5. "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not
disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts
by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
If you're in pain, don't run from
it. Sit, and let it run its course in you. Allow the Holy Spirit
to comfort you and teach you in your pain. Take what you learn and
use it to comfort others. Over time, you will experience genuine
healing, real blessing, and true peace with God no matter what
affliction surfaces next.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s
sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak [in pain],
then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Better things come from being broken
than being hard.
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